Sunday, December 25, 2011

Holidays and a Heavy Heart

Merry Christmas!

We celebrated our first Christmas together. There weren't many gifts under the tree, but there was a lot of "i love you" and many hugs. There were tears and there was laughter. We held each other close and loved on each other all day. The song goes "all I want for Christmas is you" and this song couldn't ring any more true as I was reminded how precious my husband is to me.

My love.



There was a lingering guilt with me all day and my heart was aching as I remembered our dear friend Caleb mourning the lose of his wife of three months this Christmas. She passed away in a tragic car accident on thursday and just like that, our lives have been changed forever. All the plans we had made and the traditions we looked forward to continuing are gone. My heart longs for the memories we would have made together and I miss her dearly.

Isn't she beautiful?!

This holiday season was hard and I hate to share something so heavy on a holiday, but I want this to be a reminder. A reminder that God is still bigger and His plan is better even through hurt and trial. His grace is amazing. Even the fact that I woke up this morning has His grace written all over it. He still sees it fit to have me in His will on earth. I don't understand why He decided it was time for Emily to come home, but He did and it will be used for His Glory. I know without a doubt that Jesus was the Lord and Savior of Emily's life and I find hope that she is with at home with her heavenly daddy.

I don't deserve what He gives me...and chances are, you probably don't deserve it either. So thank HIM today for the life that's in you today. Thank Him that he saw it fit to send His son to earth as a perfect man to save sinners like us who do not deserve to be in His presence.
He came to be a redeeming God with His people and He won't stop until every tongue, tribe, and nation has heard.

I shared this last Christmas. It still moves me just as much as it did the first time.

In order for Jesus to suffer and die, He had to plan way ahead of time because he couldn’t die. Immortal, He didn’t have a body. And yet he wanted to die.
For you. So, He planned the whole thing by clothing himself with a body,
so that He could get hungry and get weary and have sore feet. The incarnation of Jesus is the preparation of nerve endings for the nails, the preparation of a brow for thorns pressed through. He needed to have a broad back so that there was a place for the whips. He needed to have feet so that there was a place for spikes. He needed to have a side so that there was a place for the sword to go in. He needed to have fleshy cheeks so that Judas would have a place to kiss and there would be a place for the spit to run down that the soldiers put on him. He needed a brain and a spinal column with no vinegar and no gall, so that the exquisiteness of the pain could be fully felt.

So I plead with you, when you’re reading the Bible and you read texts like: “He loved you and gave himself for you,” you wouldn’t go too fast over it. Linger, linger, linger, and plead with Jesus that your eyes would be opened.

Jesus came as a baby so that He could give you life.


  1. I'm sorry for the loss of your friend, but like you said, it's all in God's plan and timing. I hope you had a wonderful Christmas, despite the tragedy. Sending a whole lot of well wishes and prayers your way! x

  2. It is so hard to think anything like this is part of God's plan, isn't it? Still, I hope that this week proves to be a celebration of her life.. a celebration that leads others to know the Jesus that she loved! I read this post this morning mid-flight and thought of you with a heavy heart all day long. I looked over at Josh during the flight and appreciated his presence intensely today. What a terrible, tragic loss. I am so, so sorry, Breanne. Praying that Comfort and Peace surround you both as well as Caleb.

  3. You have no idea how badly I needed to read what you wrote in those last two paragraphs! Thank you =) I'm sorry you had the lingering sadness during Christmas. I can relate to that myself since my dad lost his job a couple of weeks ago and there's not many prospects right now, which means a lot of hardship for our family, but focusing on Christ has helped greatly :) And thanks for the book ideas! I'll be on the lookout for those!

  4. We had a rather heavy hearted Christmas too. Jonathan's cousin will die any day now from a brain tumor. She has two small children. It's so sad to see these things happen.


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